Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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