you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
