i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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