dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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