Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
