i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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