Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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