dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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