Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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