What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
