Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
