planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
