Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
