she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
