Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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