Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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