Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
