You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
