I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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