When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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