So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
