So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
