i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
