Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
