I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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