worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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