dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
