you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
