for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
