I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
