He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
