It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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