I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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