tell your sister to shave her snatch
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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