it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
