Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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