If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
tell me about the eggs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
