And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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