Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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