I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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