Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
