So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
