I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
