I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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