She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
