Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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