Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
