I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Alive.
So much puke
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
