just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
