Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
