Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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