Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize