I need help removing her.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize