you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
