piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
