If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
