She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
