matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
