So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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