is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize