Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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