we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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