If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize