...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
