there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
