Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
