Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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