Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Everything about him screamed your future.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
